Jessica Abel's free book club for Growing Gills is only on Facebook. That's a bummer. She does add the live video recordings to her blog.

Personally, I am unsure if I am ready for the book. The introduction has you track your time for 2 weeks. This is incredibly difficult for me. I have so much around and the time-tracking exercise is certainly feeding that issue.

My mind is on fire at the moment. I want to paint. I want to add more designs to my t-shirt store, I wan to schedule some more podcasts...

It's a bit overwhelming. I get anxious like this and collapse. I end up doing very little because I do not know where to start.

I think this is the "work ethic" we are taught in the West hammering me and amplified by my and lack of self-love and compassion.

A reminder to my Edmonton peeps here. I am doing my first art show as part of a collective at The Works on March 20!

Live music, a dancer, drinks, and 13 artists. Come check it out. The tickets are here and support a good cause-- eventbrite.ca/e/cal-presents-t

It has been a rough start to the new year. My headspace has been dark and I'm observing a lot of thoughts on . I decided to blog about these thoughts and it helped.

ourempty.pub/@sikkdays/1036760

The watercolor painting I did is of the basement of the house I grew up in. My mother occasionally threatened to bring me downstairs and use the belt on me if I was misbehaving.

Talking about punishing myself because that's how child me has learned to adult.

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I haven't been posting a lot of lately because I have been doing some secretive work. I am making a cookbook to give as gifts to people. I am sort of strapped for cash thanks to my and student loans.

When the cookbook is done, maybe I will drop the pages in my NextCloud and share the link for those of you interested. Maybe I'll print one and send it to you if you're really interested. After all, paper is inexpensive to post.

Fingerless gloves from a small loom. I liked this project. I probably shouldn't be posting a picture because somebody will likely get them as a gift this Xmas. I am just proud of my work.

Typical me-- feeling guilty for enjoying knitting when I should be working to make money. Student loans are stressing me out and I am engaging in self-hate.

Two more days of an intense peer support certification course. I am learning so much!

At the same time I am fading fast. Not sleeping in my own bed and being away from home is having an impact.

I am trying to raise money for a training course on peer support. If you want to help and can, check out my :ko_fi: page, ko-fi.com/sikkdays

Or you can buy a because they're on sale. I get like $2-3 from each sale.

If you want to support the writing I do on my blog, or my course on peer support that I am doing next week despite having low funds, how about buying some of my art? It's on sale right now. designbyhumans.com/shop/sikkda

The things @anildash says on this podcast about ways to improve social networks would be interesting to test in the Devs like @dansup and @Gargron are already doing some of it, but Dash has some other insights.

hilariousworld.org/episode/201

I've got about 4 blogs on the go and 2 new guided meditations. I've been postponing much of that work to be consistent making cards for . So, naturally today I wrote a fifth blog on

It's been a while, but I've been avoiding because I've been using it to do work. Working with emotions if very hard. So, I created a guided meditation to work with my emotions. Have a listen if you think it would help you.
savethis.space/2019/emotions-a

I need to clean up the "studio" space. Guest interview Monday. I also need to sit down and tweak the new hardware compressor before the guest shows up.

I sent an email to a potential interview for the new podcast. This one is a big reach and I'm nervous about rejection, but I am so worried about failing at making this happen that I have push myself. Wish me luck.

Got patch cables for my new compressor. Um, wow. This makes a difference. Woo.

I think this will take more concentration to get a decent sound out of my voice then I have at the moment. I'm not at my best

So, maybe tomorrow I will play more, or record a new mantra.

I tried to explain my recently in blog form. It's like water/electricity coming to a home. It's always on and I activate it by opening the tap, that is, simply thinking. write.as/sikkdays/

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