I haven't been posting a lot of lately because I have been doing some secretive work. I am making a cookbook to give as gifts to people. I am sort of strapped for cash thanks to my and student loans.

When the cookbook is done, maybe I will drop the pages in my NextCloud and share the link for those of you interested. Maybe I'll print one and send it to you if you're really interested. After all, paper is inexpensive to post.

Fingerless gloves from a small loom. I liked this project. I probably shouldn't be posting a picture because somebody will likely get them as a gift this Xmas. I am just proud of my work.

Typical me-- feeling guilty for enjoying knitting when I should be working to make money. Student loans are stressing me out and I am engaging in self-hate.

Two more days of an intense peer support certification course. I am learning so much!

At the same time I am fading fast. Not sleeping in my own bed and being away from home is having an impact.

I am trying to raise money for a training course on peer support. If you want to help and can, check out my :ko_fi: page, ko-fi.com/sikkdays

Or you can buy a because they're on sale. I get like $2-3 from each sale.

If you want to support the writing I do on my blog, or my course on peer support that I am doing next week despite having low funds, how about buying some of my art? It's on sale right now. designbyhumans.com/shop/sikkda

The things @anildash says on this podcast about ways to improve social networks would be interesting to test in the Devs like @dansup and @Gargron are already doing some of it, but Dash has some other insights.

hilariousworld.org/episode/201

I've got about 4 blogs on the go and 2 new guided meditations. I've been postponing much of that work to be consistent making cards for . So, naturally today I wrote a fifth blog on

It's been a while, but I've been avoiding because I've been using it to do work. Working with emotions if very hard. So, I created a guided meditation to work with my emotions. Have a listen if you think it would help you.
savethis.space/2019/emotions-a

I need to clean up the "studio" space. Guest interview Monday. I also need to sit down and tweak the new hardware compressor before the guest shows up.

I sent an email to a potential interview for the new podcast. This one is a big reach and I'm nervous about rejection, but I am so worried about failing at making this happen that I have push myself. Wish me luck.

Got patch cables for my new compressor. Um, wow. This makes a difference. Woo.

I think this will take more concentration to get a decent sound out of my voice then I have at the moment. I'm not at my best

So, maybe tomorrow I will play more, or record a new mantra.

I tried to explain my recently in blog form. It's like water/electricity coming to a home. It's always on and I activate it by opening the tap, that is, simply thinking. write.as/sikkdays/

There's no money to be made in telling people they are good enough just the way they are. and have always subverted

Like many of us, has done a number on me. I'm working on my and finding art to be so rewarding and filling more than any job I ever had before.

I still feel weird, or like an impostor, calling myself an artist. Maybe have a look at some of my work for sale at designbyhumans.com/shop/sikkda

There's a sale right now and I'd love your support. In the end it's about my acceptance, but it would feel good to see others enjoy my work.

Doing a lot of writing, good or bad, in my as I play off the letter. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with the numbers, though. Maybe lay off the angle and just play with the images, or do I go all 12 days of Xmas and use the numbers? Hmm.

There's some danger in attaching yourself to labels when you're dealing with diagnosis in . Rather than doing the hard work of dealing with my own emotions and circumstances, I may identify as broken. I know this.

Imagine my surprise when I recently started to entertain the idea that I'm a victim in some areas of my relationships. A blog about being a victim to my own insecurity. savethis.space/2019/victim

Talking about is hard because it feeds that shame demon riding my back. The shame can sometimes led back to addiction. As a society we don't particularly like talking about addiction. We rush people away to treatment facilities, like we push the elderly to homes. That's mainly chemical addicted folks. There's a tremendous stigma around behavior addiction. Those of us with that problem are merely weak.

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