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Fed Ex driver: hi i left this tag on your door to inform you to get your own package because i didn't feel like knocking.

Amazon driver: Sorry to interrupt this wedding ceremony, but the owner of the house 2 doors down isn't here by chance? Does anyone have a way to get ahold of them? Sorry but Bezos will murder my grandparents if I don't deliver this.

My brain is a simple alter ego for the super villain Migraine.

Stranger Things 4-

Will passes a salt shaker to El.
LOUD OMINOUS SOUND EFFECT!

Jonathan checks his watch.
LOUD OMINOUS SOUND EFFECT!

Joyce hangs up the phone.
LOUD OMINOUS SOUND EFFECT!

Is this a parody like Hot Fuzz?

Eventually my core will be so weak that my armpits will end up resting on my hips like the drawings of humans I made in kindergarten.

Friends & neighbors, let's hear it for Shame! They will be performing here the entire lifetime.

Hi. I don't normally like to ask for financial help, but when my dad passed I was his live-in caregiver and my finances were always difficult. Now that he's gone my life has been turned upside down, and the house and everything will be sold ASAP, and I am not financially prepared for this. Any donations you could make at this time would be really appreciated. My Paypal and Venmo are in my profile.

Thank you.

USPOL satire 

BREAKING: Alabama no longer exists and neighboring states to expect deadly radiation as lawmakers have nuked a woman seeking an abortion.

Trying to catch up on the impossibly infinite to-do list composed by shame and capitalism.

I am not productive enough! I must work into the AM here! Tomorrow, I will feel like garbage and the whole process starts over.

😩 hooray?

You need to know that there's nothing wrong with you.

You are loved.

It's weird that psychiatrists and psychologists work on both sides. Some of them are working for game companies, Facebook, and advertisers and the other doctors and therapists are dealing with the after effects.

It's like a group of doctors roaming the world stabbing, shooting, and assaulting people to keep the other doctors in business.

2001: Microsoft be like, "Well SORRRRRY for having a supposed monopoly on internet browsers. Do what you like. Sheesh."

2020: Google be like, "Use whatever browser you like because 99.6% of browsers are based on our Chromium code. Even Microsoft's browser. All your data is ours and there's fuck all you can do about it."

@ajroach42 Approachable tools are a threat to the computing class system.

Top Chef, but the ingredients are only the edible plants and vermin that survive the devastating heat and conditions after climate change.

Gov. contracts should be awarded via game shows. CEOs compete answering questions about how many lives they are willing to sacrifice to make their company successful. Round 2, give them a trolley prob scenario and finally the public votes. Lie to us & we will know. We have seen what monopolies will do for profit.

Children's shows need to stop educating kids about sharing, respect and counting and start focusing on how to survive the deadly desert planet we are leaving them.

2010: Let's start a revival of the late 70s disaster films.

2020: Disaster films are too expensive. Let's just use news footage and inexpensive interviews to make documentaries about the actual disasters that continue to affect millions each day because of lax government regulations.

@welshpixie I've been meaning to ask you about your experience with your Ko-fi :ko_fi: store?

I've been wanting to put my art up for a very long time, but my insecurity usually wins. However, I am running out of room for this stuff. I need to be brave. Thinking of trying Ko-fi because I don't know if I'd sell enough to pay for a fancy shopify or something.

Friends, is there a place to host online calendars for events?

I am volunteering with my local Mental Health association and we want to share a calendar of events.

:boost_ok:

The larger organization job interview -

We are a panel of people that HR put together, but we are given a script.
We cannot answer your specific questions because we know little about the position you're applying for.
Ask questions though! Otherwise we'll think you're just saying what we want to hear.
Also, say what we want to hear.

I am exhausted just listening to my partner talk about her upcoming interview.

Fuck hiring is broken.

I just wanted to give thanks to all the homemakers out there today. You don't get enough gratitude for all you do just keeping the home together as the big bro/sis, dad/mom, aunt/uncle.

As soon as you get things in order and can do something for yourself, someone else in the household has created disorder and you are back at. Thanks for your dedication and persistence.

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